Monday, December 31, 2012
Spur of the Moment Freelance Thoughts #201
Sometimes we wish to share the same boldness and the ability to dare on those things that seem so far fetched. We even sometimes sit and second guess ourselves allowing doubt and fear to get the best of us, holding us back from those many dreams we hope and pray to accomplish one day. We worry that we won't succeed and that it seems impossible to accomplish something that is so possible for a God to grant! You question yourself and ask, am I dreaming to much, am I dreaming to big! When in all actuality we're not dreaming big enough! A God who breathes out fire and stars is more than capable to fulfill the promise HE made to you! We forget, those things HE has set in our hearts, they are dreams and promises HE has given to us! Those are things HE has allowed to enter our hearts, to envision, to imagine, to create, and to release and reveal to the world around us. It is favor and truly a blessing when God tells you the desires of your heart are mine too! Whatever you dream and whatever you desire, I will make possible for you! But here you go again, seeing someone who has accomplished in your arena and you face fear, BUT you have to remember, you still do not carry the same vision, power, resources, and the anointing! What God has designed for you to do you must carry it out. What they can't accomplish, you will be able to accomplish. Yes, they may be successful, but are they humble? Yes, they have the fame, but are they saving souls? Do not doubt, and do not regret the steps you may have missed to reached your destiny! Your chaos, your consequences, your frustration, your setbacks, and every bit of misfortune that was thrown your way has only equipped you and making you who you are! So stop wishing you were in their shoes! Stop wishing you had their testimony! Stop wishing you had their vision! Use what God has given you! He gave you a powerful weapon, don't misuse it! Don't sit down the gifts, the dreams, and the visions God has placed in your hands to use to destroy the kingdom! Stay in your lane and be the influence!
Sunday, December 30, 2012
2012 Best Wishes & Farewells 2013 Blessings & Greetings
It is that time of year where we are all setting order
In our homes
On our jobs
In our business affairs
In our relationship
In our dreams, visions, and goals
And with our relationship with God
We are settling our spirits from all the excitement of the Holiday
Planning to drop calories
Planning to lower our cholestorol
And to shed the added weight from all the festivities
We're meeting last minute goals
Beating deadlines
Beating all the prices from Holiday sales
We're house cleaning
And running up bills & throwing away bills we have fought to pay all year
We're getting our bottles in order from Virgin Olive Oil to Ciroc
We're getting our outfits laid out from Church Suits to Pleasurable Lingerie
We're getting ready for a new approach into a year we have never seen
Into a world that was saved thousand of years ago by the True Messiah
Some are in distress and ready for the new blessings, challenges, and even consequences the new year may bring
We're looking to say farewell and best wishes to a year that allowed you to set order in your life, and for others even chaos
We're reaching our hands out in dire need for 2013, a year many of us have embraced before it has fully taken its term into time
2013, we have greeted and blessed you, and have accepted you with joy, expectation, and even with a since of mystery
What do you hold
What stories will you tell
What relationships will be made
And what relationships will be left
God, where will you lead your people
For some 2012 was not as promising and fulfilling
But it was better than the former years of life you have faced
It was GREATER
With 2013 approaching it can only get better
There's a hint of surprise and suspense
Even a sense of transition that will take place in many of our lives
And in the mist of that transition
We must know Gods hand is at work
In 2012 HE equipped you, established you, revealed to you and gave you order
In 2013 lets expect a fuller picture of what God desires to do in our lives
What may have seem bad in your life in 2012 is only equipping for what God has set in order for your life
2013 will bless you and greet you will
This is not a promise that you are now dismissed from struggles
But you will be more equipped than you were the year before
So as you prepare to enter the new year by going to the church or the club
Take the time to reflect on 2012, give it its wishes and farewells and pray blessings and victories as you greet 2013
In our homes
On our jobs
In our business affairs
In our relationship
In our dreams, visions, and goals
And with our relationship with God
We are settling our spirits from all the excitement of the Holiday
Planning to drop calories
Planning to lower our cholestorol
And to shed the added weight from all the festivities
We're meeting last minute goals
Beating deadlines
Beating all the prices from Holiday sales
We're house cleaning
And running up bills & throwing away bills we have fought to pay all year
We're getting our bottles in order from Virgin Olive Oil to Ciroc
We're getting our outfits laid out from Church Suits to Pleasurable Lingerie
We're getting ready for a new approach into a year we have never seen
Into a world that was saved thousand of years ago by the True Messiah
Some are in distress and ready for the new blessings, challenges, and even consequences the new year may bring
We're looking to say farewell and best wishes to a year that allowed you to set order in your life, and for others even chaos
We're reaching our hands out in dire need for 2013, a year many of us have embraced before it has fully taken its term into time
2013, we have greeted and blessed you, and have accepted you with joy, expectation, and even with a since of mystery
What do you hold
What stories will you tell
What relationships will be made
And what relationships will be left
God, where will you lead your people
For some 2012 was not as promising and fulfilling
But it was better than the former years of life you have faced
It was GREATER
With 2013 approaching it can only get better
There's a hint of surprise and suspense
Even a sense of transition that will take place in many of our lives
And in the mist of that transition
We must know Gods hand is at work
In 2012 HE equipped you, established you, revealed to you and gave you order
In 2013 lets expect a fuller picture of what God desires to do in our lives
What may have seem bad in your life in 2012 is only equipping for what God has set in order for your life
2013 will bless you and greet you will
This is not a promise that you are now dismissed from struggles
But you will be more equipped than you were the year before
So as you prepare to enter the new year by going to the church or the club
Take the time to reflect on 2012, give it its wishes and farewells and pray blessings and victories as you greet 2013
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Strengthening & Renewing Your Passion & Zeal
At times, I may be a bit tender
Especially when I am trying to go after something I'm really passionate about
You would think the opposite
But I get scared, fear of being judged, fear of not receiving approval, fear that others may steal what I'm going after, fear that I am doing it wrong, and the list goes on and on and on
You would think your passion would drive you to be a lot bolder than what you usually are
But that is not always the case
Sometimes your passion can drive you to be afraid, and to be timid, it can even make you weak
WHY???
Because it's something you are passionate about and something you want people to receive and understand
However, that is not the case
Your desire, your fire, your passion will not always be understood
And it is not going to always be accepted
That is the thing that scares me
I love what I do, but the question is, will others love it?
The answer to that is NO
They may not agree
They may not understand
They may want you and your zeal to go across country
BUT you have to stay true to that zeal you hold
Don't let the fear and anxiety of others weigh what you feel passionate about down
Don't let others take advantage OR become a disadvantage to what you're trying to do with those desires you have for you're passionate about
If people say no, pick up your passion and your zeal and move forward
Don't let the no's hold you back
That rejection will try to weaken you and cause you to give in, but you can't allow it
Even when you feel like saying no, because there will be times you question what you feel so strongly about, take a brief break, talk to God, rest that night, and come back at it again, feeling refreshed!
There have been several times I have had to do this, but don't defeat yourself
Stand up, Be bold
And remember, there is help
Something I am slowly learning and accepting
Truth be told, it is hard to express, share, and trust others with what you feel so strongly and passionate about
But God sends help
Just move forward in the process, use that faith HE has given you and keep it moving
Especially when I am trying to go after something I'm really passionate about
You would think the opposite
But I get scared, fear of being judged, fear of not receiving approval, fear that others may steal what I'm going after, fear that I am doing it wrong, and the list goes on and on and on
You would think your passion would drive you to be a lot bolder than what you usually are
But that is not always the case
Sometimes your passion can drive you to be afraid, and to be timid, it can even make you weak
WHY???
Because it's something you are passionate about and something you want people to receive and understand
However, that is not the case
Your desire, your fire, your passion will not always be understood
And it is not going to always be accepted
That is the thing that scares me
I love what I do, but the question is, will others love it?
The answer to that is NO
They may not agree
They may not understand
They may want you and your zeal to go across country
BUT you have to stay true to that zeal you hold
Don't let the fear and anxiety of others weigh what you feel passionate about down
Don't let others take advantage OR become a disadvantage to what you're trying to do with those desires you have for you're passionate about
If people say no, pick up your passion and your zeal and move forward
Don't let the no's hold you back
That rejection will try to weaken you and cause you to give in, but you can't allow it
Even when you feel like saying no, because there will be times you question what you feel so strongly about, take a brief break, talk to God, rest that night, and come back at it again, feeling refreshed!
There have been several times I have had to do this, but don't defeat yourself
Stand up, Be bold
And remember, there is help
Something I am slowly learning and accepting
Truth be told, it is hard to express, share, and trust others with what you feel so strongly and passionate about
But God sends help
Just move forward in the process, use that faith HE has given you and keep it moving
Thursday, September 27, 2012
REMINDER: All Mine- 2012
I
have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or
the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to
the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to
them all.
Ecclesiastes 9:11
So, maybe this year is not exactly what I expected.
But it is truly setting the foundation for some things that are to take place.
I don't know Gods timing and where HE is going to take me within the next few months left in this year.
But in the meantime, I will remind myself of the verse I have bookmarked for myself.
Taming The Tongue
Just a random post about something not many people may know about me and my tongue.
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.- Proverbs 18:21
Are you quiet
Are you blunt
Are you shy
Are you rude
Do you "Think before you speak?" about how something may effect an individual if not said carefully and with thought. I have always been a bit quiet and internally blunt, if that makes sense; however, when around the right people I kindly, and sometimes rudely, say what's on my mind. I would blame it on my mother, but I know this is one thing we both share in common. However, I never thought of it as verbal abuse. Harsh words hurt and they cut deep. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!" is a false statement! Words do hurt! Words do heal! Words plant seeds! Words nurture and water! Words bear fruit! This is why we must be careful when criticizing! We have to criticize out of love! Know when to offer criticism. We have to discipline out of love! Compliments must always be appropriate and not misleading!
Sometimes we do say things we don't intend to say, and we don't realize how bad it may hurt someone. And this is one area I have to grow in, because I never realized it until a dear friend told me the "harshness" of my words of making one feeling little or stupid. There's always a better way to express yourself. Yes, let's admit, sometimes people effect our responses, but that's when we have to grow and learn how to talk to that individual. For me, its been kind of hard and even frustrating, because I rather just say what I feel than to "Think before I speak."
It's funny though, because I always find it that people like to talk to me and ask my opinion or advice because not only do I listen, but I will keep it real! I have always been a real person, with a little deepness (lol).
So Lord, guard my tongue! Teach me how to speak to your people who make it tough for me!
Guard your tongue from profanity, and no more lying through your teeth.- Psalm 34:13
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.- Psalm 19:14
#PersonalGrowth
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.- Proverbs 18:21
Are you quiet
Are you blunt
Are you shy
Are you rude
Do you "Think before you speak?" about how something may effect an individual if not said carefully and with thought. I have always been a bit quiet and internally blunt, if that makes sense; however, when around the right people I kindly, and sometimes rudely, say what's on my mind. I would blame it on my mother, but I know this is one thing we both share in common. However, I never thought of it as verbal abuse. Harsh words hurt and they cut deep. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!" is a false statement! Words do hurt! Words do heal! Words plant seeds! Words nurture and water! Words bear fruit! This is why we must be careful when criticizing! We have to criticize out of love! Know when to offer criticism. We have to discipline out of love! Compliments must always be appropriate and not misleading!
Sometimes we do say things we don't intend to say, and we don't realize how bad it may hurt someone. And this is one area I have to grow in, because I never realized it until a dear friend told me the "harshness" of my words of making one feeling little or stupid. There's always a better way to express yourself. Yes, let's admit, sometimes people effect our responses, but that's when we have to grow and learn how to talk to that individual. For me, its been kind of hard and even frustrating, because I rather just say what I feel than to "Think before I speak."
It's funny though, because I always find it that people like to talk to me and ask my opinion or advice because not only do I listen, but I will keep it real! I have always been a real person, with a little deepness (lol).
So Lord, guard my tongue! Teach me how to speak to your people who make it tough for me!
Guard your tongue from profanity, and no more lying through your teeth.- Psalm 34:13
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.- Psalm 19:14
#PersonalGrowth
Monday, September 17, 2012
Easily Charmed
Why is it that females are so easily charmed?
Easily aroused by our emotions.
We open our hearts up
Without carefully grasping this new interest
Why are we so easily charmed?
We forget to stay in hiding
Or should I say
When we come out of hiding
Which follows by being broken
We get so caught up in putting the pieces back together
We forget to return
Or should I say
We forget our way back
Why are we so easily charmed?
We're so caught up with "Finding him"
And not allowing God to let him find you
We can't forget who we are
We are to be courted
To be sought after
We can't run after what we want
We have to hide until who we need finds us
Consume yourself with Gods work
Become a praying woman
Be a maiden of the Most High
And while you're in waiting
He'll come
Don't be easily charmed
Stop crying
Stop chasing
Pick up your Alabaster
Pick up your Purity
Pick up your Heart
Regain self-control
Regain dignity
Regain strength
Become the charmer
Become the beauty
Become the maiden in waiting
Take care of yourself
Save yourself
Purify yourself
Until the true charmer comes
He doesn't want to walk pass you
And you're still down from your past
He'll miss your pretty face
Because you're crying about what "that boy" did
Run back to hiding
Stay hidden
Until God brings him to you
Do not be easily charmed
Easily aroused by our emotions.
We open our hearts up
Without carefully grasping this new interest
Why are we so easily charmed?
We forget to stay in hiding
Or should I say
When we come out of hiding
Which follows by being broken
We get so caught up in putting the pieces back together
We forget to return
Or should I say
We forget our way back
Why are we so easily charmed?
We're so caught up with "Finding him"
And not allowing God to let him find you
We can't forget who we are
We are to be courted
To be sought after
We can't run after what we want
We have to hide until who we need finds us
Consume yourself with Gods work
Become a praying woman
Be a maiden of the Most High
And while you're in waiting
He'll come
Don't be easily charmed
Stop crying
Stop chasing
Pick up your Alabaster
Pick up your Purity
Pick up your Heart
Regain self-control
Regain dignity
Regain strength
Become the charmer
Become the beauty
Become the maiden in waiting
Take care of yourself
Save yourself
Purify yourself
Until the true charmer comes
He doesn't want to walk pass you
And you're still down from your past
He'll miss your pretty face
Because you're crying about what "that boy" did
Run back to hiding
Stay hidden
Until God brings him to you
Do not be easily charmed
Thursday, July 26, 2012
RED ALERTS When Dating (Writing In The Works aka Incomplete)
Ladies! This is for you! We all want to marry our version of "BOAZ" and in order to be appropriately ready we have to already "BE" what we want our version of "BOAZ" to be! Makes sense right! So just a reminder, make sure you're preparing yourself as "RUTH". But, that's not what I'm here for. I just have some thoughts I want to get out regarding dating.
1. If he can't verbally express to you OR show you what he's passionate about, his dreams, goals, and aspirations; along with who he hopes to be one day *RED ALERT* If you see he's only doing enough for the present tense ladies, question that, ask him what he's doing to secure his future.
2. If he's not interested in knowing more about you, your interest, respecting who you are and what you're going for in life *RED ALERT* Maybe I'm asking for too much, but if he's attracted to you, he should also be interested and questioning you about the things you do.
3. If he's a step backwards from what you've had before *RED ALERT*
4. If he's expecting you to do all of these "special" duties for him, but he's not giving in return *RED ALERT*
1. If he can't verbally express to you OR show you what he's passionate about, his dreams, goals, and aspirations; along with who he hopes to be one day *RED ALERT* If you see he's only doing enough for the present tense ladies, question that, ask him what he's doing to secure his future.
2. If he's not interested in knowing more about you, your interest, respecting who you are and what you're going for in life *RED ALERT* Maybe I'm asking for too much, but if he's attracted to you, he should also be interested and questioning you about the things you do.
3. If he's a step backwards from what you've had before *RED ALERT*
4. If he's expecting you to do all of these "special" duties for him, but he's not giving in return *RED ALERT*
Thursday, June 28, 2012
#ThePassionOfTheDefender
Naturally I like to refute or somehow play the devils advocate, I don't always do (not many people know this part of me), but when I do I'm very stubborn about it, and no matter how much you prove yourself, I'm still right AND most times I am right (I get that 'know it all syndrome' from my mother)! lol I've always been like that, I guess that's why grandaddy says I should be a lawyer!
I also find myself at times defending people who I know have been in some sort of fault, but deserve the benefit of the doubt. I guess this is where that unconditional love comes in that Jesus tells us to have for his people. Because I see myself still caring for people whom I've seen church people detach themselves from because they were "not in the will of God" therefore because they were not following God's will or willing to help them to get in his will, they neglected them.
I don't know how this post came to be, just a random tangent in my thoughts on this lovely Friday mornig June 29, 2012 at 1:34am :)
I also find myself at times defending people who I know have been in some sort of fault, but deserve the benefit of the doubt. I guess this is where that unconditional love comes in that Jesus tells us to have for his people. Because I see myself still caring for people whom I've seen church people detach themselves from because they were "not in the will of God" therefore because they were not following God's will or willing to help them to get in his will, they neglected them.
I don't know how this post came to be, just a random tangent in my thoughts on this lovely Friday mornig June 29, 2012 at 1:34am :)
Sunday, May 20, 2012
"That Girl"
We all have our group of "haters"
Some of us may call them "motivators"
And women,
We all know there this sector
Of young and old women
Who just have it out for you
Envy is what it is,
But when they see you coming
They begin slandering
"Who SHE think....."
"Oh! No SHE didn't..."
"Did you see what SHE...."
As though they have forgotten your name
But then it changes to
"Look at HER..."
"I saw HER with..."
"Did you know HER..."
Well, I'm not here to talk about
Female Drama
I just ran across a memory of my Grandma Ann-Lee Petticolas
She was a Mothers Day baby
And about 10 years ago
She passed away
I never saw much of her
And after her death I regretted it a bit
But just by her Homegoing
I learned soo much about her beauty
The memory I hold close to me are her Christmas Cards
And in those cards you would find a 2 dollar bill
One year with my card and 2 dollar bill
She signed it "That Girl"
*laughs*
Yes, she could not remember my name
You would think that would hurt me
But I knew grandma was old
15 plus grandchildren
And on top of it,
I wasn't around much...
But whenever I was around
And she couldn't remember my name
It was
"That Girl"
I started the post off the way I did because
"That girl"
Sounds like something a "hater" may say
When they are talking about you
Grandma was no hater
In her words
"I LOVE ALL Y'ALL"
"That Girl"
Is my special way of remembering her
To some degree it's almost a humbling statement
(Conversation with grandma)
You know "That Girl"
Troy daughter....
"That Girl"
(LOL)
Grandma Ann-Lee,
I am "That Girl..."
Some of us may call them "motivators"
And women,
We all know there this sector
Of young and old women
Who just have it out for you
Envy is what it is,
But when they see you coming
They begin slandering
"Who SHE think....."
"Oh! No SHE didn't..."
"Did you see what SHE...."
As though they have forgotten your name
But then it changes to
"Look at HER..."
"I saw HER with..."
"Did you know HER..."
Well, I'm not here to talk about
Female Drama
I just ran across a memory of my Grandma Ann-Lee Petticolas
She was a Mothers Day baby
And about 10 years ago
She passed away
I never saw much of her
And after her death I regretted it a bit
But just by her Homegoing
I learned soo much about her beauty
The memory I hold close to me are her Christmas Cards
And in those cards you would find a 2 dollar bill
One year with my card and 2 dollar bill
She signed it "That Girl"
*laughs*
Yes, she could not remember my name
You would think that would hurt me
But I knew grandma was old
15 plus grandchildren
And on top of it,
I wasn't around much...
But whenever I was around
And she couldn't remember my name
It was
"That Girl"
I started the post off the way I did because
"That girl"
Sounds like something a "hater" may say
When they are talking about you
Grandma was no hater
In her words
"I LOVE ALL Y'ALL"
"That Girl"
Is my special way of remembering her
To some degree it's almost a humbling statement
(Conversation with grandma)
You know "That Girl"
Troy daughter....
"That Girl"
(LOL)
Grandma Ann-Lee,
I am "That Girl..."
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
WE HAVE COME TO BE DANCED
Found this on Tracee Ellis Ross facebook page and LOVED IT
We HAVE COME TO BE DANCED
by Jewel Mathieson
We have come to be danced
not the pretty dance
not the pretty pretty, pick me, pick me dance
but the claw our way back into the belly
of the sacred, sensual animal dance
... the unhinged, unplugged, cat is out of its box dance
the holding the precious moment in the palms
of our hands and feet dance
We have come to be danced
not the jiffy booby, shake your booty for him dance
but the wring the sadness from our skin dance
the blow the chip off our shoulder dance
the slap the apology from our posture dance
We have come to be danced
not the monkey see, monkey do dance
one, two dance like you
one two three, dance like me dance
but the grave robber, tomb stalker
tearing scabs & scars open dance
the rub the rhythm raw against our souls dance
WE have come to be danced
not the nice invisible, self conscious shuffle
but the matted hair flying, voodoo mama
shaman shakin’ ancient bones dance
the strip us from our casings, return our wings
sharpen our claws & tongues dance
the shed dead cells and slip into
the luminous skin of love dance
We have come to be danced
not the hold our breath and wallow in the shallow end of the floor dance
but the meeting of the trinity: the body, breath & beat dance
the shout hallelujah from the top of our thighs dance
the mother may I?
yes you may take 10 giant leaps dance
the Olly Olly Oxen Free Free Free dance
the everyone can come to our heaven dance
We have come to be danced
where the kingdom’s collide
in the cathedral of flesh
to burn back into the light
to unravel, to play, to fly, to pray
to root in skin sanctuary
We have come to be danced
WE HAVE COME
We HAVE COME TO BE DANCED
by Jewel Mathieson
We have come to be danced
not the pretty dance
not the pretty pretty, pick me, pick me dance
but the claw our way back into the belly
of the sacred, sensual animal dance
... the unhinged, unplugged, cat is out of its box dance
the holding the precious moment in the palms
of our hands and feet dance
We have come to be danced
not the jiffy booby, shake your booty for him dance
but the wring the sadness from our skin dance
the blow the chip off our shoulder dance
the slap the apology from our posture dance
We have come to be danced
not the monkey see, monkey do dance
one, two dance like you
one two three, dance like me dance
but the grave robber, tomb stalker
tearing scabs & scars open dance
the rub the rhythm raw against our souls dance
WE have come to be danced
not the nice invisible, self conscious shuffle
but the matted hair flying, voodoo mama
shaman shakin’ ancient bones dance
the strip us from our casings, return our wings
sharpen our claws & tongues dance
the shed dead cells and slip into
the luminous skin of love dance
We have come to be danced
not the hold our breath and wallow in the shallow end of the floor dance
but the meeting of the trinity: the body, breath & beat dance
the shout hallelujah from the top of our thighs dance
the mother may I?
yes you may take 10 giant leaps dance
the Olly Olly Oxen Free Free Free dance
the everyone can come to our heaven dance
We have come to be danced
where the kingdom’s collide
in the cathedral of flesh
to burn back into the light
to unravel, to play, to fly, to pray
to root in skin sanctuary
We have come to be danced
WE HAVE COME
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
The Freelancer With No _______????
Now, I advise you to hold on to your seats, because this church girl is about to make a terrible confession.......................................................................................................................................
MY FAITH IS NOT THE SIZE OF A MUSTARD SEED
:(
One thing I struggle with as a believer is my FAITH, yep, that's right! I know God is real I've seen Him work miracles! HECK, I should have been dead about 4 years ago but HE spared my life. But sometimes, probably like any other "normal" saint, I struggle with Faith. I ask God if He's real? I ask God if He's really going to do it. And there have even been times I told myself I'm not going to believe anymore, but I end up talking to Him driving up and down 460. So I have not been successful, PRAISE GOD!
So, right now my prayer is INCREASE MY FAITH! I see it work in everyone elses lives, but sometimes it just seems it comes short when I compare it to my life. There have been times I speak about "Leaping Faith" and I see it come to pass, but my faith has not always been consistent. I get like Thomas sometimes, and I begin to doubt! Sad right? But to me, it shows that I am human, and that my relationship with God is still growing and that I am maturing in Him.
Don't get it mixed up, I know Jesus is real! It's just the Faith for Him to do the Impossible seem to waver at times. But again I'm praying for God to increase my faith and to make it strong!
In conclusion, we all struggle with something when it comes to our relationship with Christ, whether it be faith, love, joy, etc... I just think it's funny that mine is faith, because I've been told I'm a freelancer AND I want to be a business owner, that sounds like a lot of risk taking, which requires, not just talent, but faith!
MY FAITH IS NOT THE SIZE OF A MUSTARD SEED
:(
One thing I struggle with as a believer is my FAITH, yep, that's right! I know God is real I've seen Him work miracles! HECK, I should have been dead about 4 years ago but HE spared my life. But sometimes, probably like any other "normal" saint, I struggle with Faith. I ask God if He's real? I ask God if He's really going to do it. And there have even been times I told myself I'm not going to believe anymore, but I end up talking to Him driving up and down 460. So I have not been successful, PRAISE GOD!
So, right now my prayer is INCREASE MY FAITH! I see it work in everyone elses lives, but sometimes it just seems it comes short when I compare it to my life. There have been times I speak about "Leaping Faith" and I see it come to pass, but my faith has not always been consistent. I get like Thomas sometimes, and I begin to doubt! Sad right? But to me, it shows that I am human, and that my relationship with God is still growing and that I am maturing in Him.
Don't get it mixed up, I know Jesus is real! It's just the Faith for Him to do the Impossible seem to waver at times. But again I'm praying for God to increase my faith and to make it strong!
In conclusion, we all struggle with something when it comes to our relationship with Christ, whether it be faith, love, joy, etc... I just think it's funny that mine is faith, because I've been told I'm a freelancer AND I want to be a business owner, that sounds like a lot of risk taking, which requires, not just talent, but faith!
School & Work
A lot has happened! And this pass Spring Semester I took off of school to re-evaluate some of the places I wanted to be in my life. A lot of people don't know I withdrew, only my immediate family. So please don't smack me if you're reading this post. And along with that I felt it was necessary and time I leave my job at the YMCA. Again, please do not smack me! No, I didn't have a job lined up for me, and as soon as that happened, I found out I owed the school money before I could register for summer classes. But with all my brainstorming, I have worked things out. But in the mist of working things out I realize something I don't EVER do, unless it's my dad, and that's ask for help! Terrible right? I know of family members and even friends that woulod be more than glad to assist, but my independant nature got the best of me! I guess that's one reason why granny never says she doesn't worry soo much about me because she know I can handle it.
But in this path I'm taking I'm quite excited; however, I will say it working my patience and my faith (but that's another post, so be on the look out.)
Anyway, back to the whole school situation! I withdrew from school and I am happy I did it because now I feel more excited, refreshed, and motivated about going back for the summer! I only have 9 classes left, so I'm quite sure this will be a breeze. It's funny though because I am sure people are a bit shocked at some of the decisions I make, but at the end of the day I am living for myself and God! My happiness doesn't come from what other people want from me, but what God desires to get the glory out of, that's where my JOY comes from!
Now about the job, that's another story, but I won't talk about that publicly, nothing bad at all, just felt that it was time to move and to seek after something better and GREATER.
Finally, I will say this, people won't understand every move you make, and you shouldn't have to always explain, especially when it comes to ministry and your relationship with Christ. If God says move, with or without a job, your duty is to move. And don't doubt it, because if God says move, that means HE has provisions already to provide your every NEED until HE moves you out again and better equipped!
But in this path I'm taking I'm quite excited; however, I will say it working my patience and my faith (but that's another post, so be on the look out.)
Anyway, back to the whole school situation! I withdrew from school and I am happy I did it because now I feel more excited, refreshed, and motivated about going back for the summer! I only have 9 classes left, so I'm quite sure this will be a breeze. It's funny though because I am sure people are a bit shocked at some of the decisions I make, but at the end of the day I am living for myself and God! My happiness doesn't come from what other people want from me, but what God desires to get the glory out of, that's where my JOY comes from!
Now about the job, that's another story, but I won't talk about that publicly, nothing bad at all, just felt that it was time to move and to seek after something better and GREATER.
Finally, I will say this, people won't understand every move you make, and you shouldn't have to always explain, especially when it comes to ministry and your relationship with Christ. If God says move, with or without a job, your duty is to move. And don't doubt it, because if God says move, that means HE has provisions already to provide your every NEED until HE moves you out again and better equipped!
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
When You're Misunderstood
When you're misunderstood
It's hard for people to respect you
At first they may laugh
But when they realize it
Everything you do and say makes sense
When you're misunderstood
No one has ideas like you do
Or can carry them out like you can
When you're misunderstood
You're quickly to be underestimated
And even you have doubts about yourself
When you're misunderstood
Only faith can guide you
When you're misunderstood
There several times you'll just keep your mouth shut
And time where you'll cry alone
When you're misunderstood
Your number of friends are few
And the ones you do have
Seem to come and go
When you're misunderstood
Prepare to be rejected
When you're misunderstood
Sometimes the only person it seems you could work for is yourself
When you're misunderstood
You carry and you see more
More than what others may think
When you're misunderstood
The only person to encourage you is yourself
So don't give up
When you're misunderstood
God sends those faithful few
That will carry you through
When you're misunderstood
Know that God has a plan
That bigger than mans imagination
That they're unable to grasp His wonder and His work
When you're misunderstood
It's not that you're any less or better
But God has plan to do with you, that others can't do...
It's hard for people to respect you
At first they may laugh
But when they realize it
Everything you do and say makes sense
When you're misunderstood
No one has ideas like you do
Or can carry them out like you can
When you're misunderstood
You're quickly to be underestimated
And even you have doubts about yourself
When you're misunderstood
Only faith can guide you
When you're misunderstood
There several times you'll just keep your mouth shut
And time where you'll cry alone
When you're misunderstood
Your number of friends are few
And the ones you do have
Seem to come and go
When you're misunderstood
Prepare to be rejected
When you're misunderstood
Sometimes the only person it seems you could work for is yourself
When you're misunderstood
You carry and you see more
More than what others may think
When you're misunderstood
The only person to encourage you is yourself
So don't give up
When you're misunderstood
God sends those faithful few
That will carry you through
When you're misunderstood
Know that God has a plan
That bigger than mans imagination
That they're unable to grasp His wonder and His work
When you're misunderstood
It's not that you're any less or better
But God has plan to do with you, that others can't do...
Monday, March 26, 2012
A Covenant Designed For Worship
March 24, 2012, before a host of family and friends, a union was formed
Gen. 2:18, 21-24
Gen. 2:18, 21-24
- The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him'...and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man.' For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
- They not only made a declaration of their love
But they committed to a marriage-lifestyle of worship before God
That God is the center of their unification
And HE is the center of their Love Song
And because of their love for Christ
And because they worship HIM sincerely With clean hands and a pure heart
GOD made their union:
One of purity One of worship One of covenant
Their thought wasn't on the center of it being "Their Day"
But a day where God will be magnified and glorified through "Their Covenant" with God and to their Better Half
The wedding of Nikeya Massenburg to Jarel Brown is one I will never forget. It was purely about God receiving the worship. How can you ask God to come in like they did and HE not showed up. What amazed me was the song selections. Strictly worship, reverencing God to the fullest. And because of the reverence they showed God, their marriage GLOWED.
"The One Night Stand" RA Vernon
March 23, 2012 I attend the The Once Night Stand in Woodbridge hosted by Lyle and Debra Dukes, speaker, RA Vernon. I must say it was an amazing event. Several singles in one house, learning about their singleness.
Never before in my life have I ever sat under a preacher for an hour who spoke so much about REAL LIFE and THE WORD. He spoke some on his book "10 Rules Before Dating" which I plan to purchase. Then he went into his message about how being single is a gift. He referenced to Paul, who was a single man and who wrote letters to the churches, which we can find in the New Testament of the Bible.
There were 3 types of singles he spoke on:
With single and sinning he touched on how Satan has the single folks wet and the married folks dry. It was quite hilarious when he said this, but it is true. He continued on to say that single folks are having more sex than married folks, which seems to be VERY true. Don't you agree?
The part I really want to get to in this post is where Vernon touched on the subject of "Soul Ties." He broke it down in a way I never heard. We grow up knowing and learning that you're suppose to wait until you're married t have sex, so it can represent purity and you want to give yourself to the person you're going to spend you whole life. But never have I really understood as "sex is for marriage and marriage is for sex." In other words, when you have sex with someone out of wedlock you are married to them, which then created a soul tie. Vernon went on to say that's why some people have problems in current relationships or marriages because of those they have divorced in the pass. Every time you lay with someone you are not married to they drop something from within their spirit to yours; therefore tying you two together. SO whatever he/she may be going through, you may be faced with those situations now.
Overall, it was a great service and that's what I got out of it! I hope you all were fed a little nugget from this post and if you want the whole meal I suggest checking R.A. Vernon out at Saint Paul's on April 27th, Richmond VA.
Never before in my life have I ever sat under a preacher for an hour who spoke so much about REAL LIFE and THE WORD. He spoke some on his book "10 Rules Before Dating" which I plan to purchase. Then he went into his message about how being single is a gift. He referenced to Paul, who was a single man and who wrote letters to the churches, which we can find in the New Testament of the Bible.
There were 3 types of singles he spoke on:
- Single and Sinning
- Single and Satisfied
- Single and Seeking
With single and sinning he touched on how Satan has the single folks wet and the married folks dry. It was quite hilarious when he said this, but it is true. He continued on to say that single folks are having more sex than married folks, which seems to be VERY true. Don't you agree?
The part I really want to get to in this post is where Vernon touched on the subject of "Soul Ties." He broke it down in a way I never heard. We grow up knowing and learning that you're suppose to wait until you're married t have sex, so it can represent purity and you want to give yourself to the person you're going to spend you whole life. But never have I really understood as "sex is for marriage and marriage is for sex." In other words, when you have sex with someone out of wedlock you are married to them, which then created a soul tie. Vernon went on to say that's why some people have problems in current relationships or marriages because of those they have divorced in the pass. Every time you lay with someone you are not married to they drop something from within their spirit to yours; therefore tying you two together. SO whatever he/she may be going through, you may be faced with those situations now.
Overall, it was a great service and that's what I got out of it! I hope you all were fed a little nugget from this post and if you want the whole meal I suggest checking R.A. Vernon out at Saint Paul's on April 27th, Richmond VA.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Quick-Stop OR Pit-Stop
So on this journey I took what I thought would be a quick-stop, but it ended up turning into a pit-stop! Yep, I dug this nice hole of laziness at the nearest Sleep Inn. To some it may not have seem like it, but mentally and internally I was dealing with a lot. It was nothing too major, but enough for me to make me want to sit down and rest my feet and not care if I get any further on this journey.
PRAISE GOD! That mindset has changed. I haven't met all the deadlines I have planned for myself, but HE knows what HE is doing!
This weekend I heard an awesome word from some dynamite women of God! In summary the thought was this: "What may LOOK like a SET BACK is only a SET UP! You are not making a combat, because from the time God breathed life into you you were FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE, BLESSED, PROSPEROUS and whatever else God has placed in your Spiritual DNA! It NEVER left you!"
Those words meant a lot to me and carried a revelation I never carefully thought of, because at a point in my life I felt like I was living in a set back, but who knew it was just a set up! It was like Gods way of slowing me down so I wouldn't move to fast, testing me , and yes my flesh had something to do with it too, BUT now there's a launching pad in front of me!
So I have left the pit-stop and the only stop that needs to be made is a quick-stop! God doesn't take breaks, and yes, I know I am not God; however, ministry must go forth, my dreams must become reality, and in order for these things to happen I have to move with the season and IN MY YOUTH! So that in my later years of wisdom I will not regret those days that are behind!
PRAISE GOD! That mindset has changed. I haven't met all the deadlines I have planned for myself, but HE knows what HE is doing!
This weekend I heard an awesome word from some dynamite women of God! In summary the thought was this: "What may LOOK like a SET BACK is only a SET UP! You are not making a combat, because from the time God breathed life into you you were FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE, BLESSED, PROSPEROUS and whatever else God has placed in your Spiritual DNA! It NEVER left you!"
Those words meant a lot to me and carried a revelation I never carefully thought of, because at a point in my life I felt like I was living in a set back, but who knew it was just a set up! It was like Gods way of slowing me down so I wouldn't move to fast, testing me , and yes my flesh had something to do with it too, BUT now there's a launching pad in front of me!
So I have left the pit-stop and the only stop that needs to be made is a quick-stop! God doesn't take breaks, and yes, I know I am not God; however, ministry must go forth, my dreams must become reality, and in order for these things to happen I have to move with the season and IN MY YOUTH! So that in my later years of wisdom I will not regret those days that are behind!
Saturday, March 17, 2012
When You've Lost Focus - A Writer In Distress
We all coming to a breaking point, and lately, I think I've been reaching near to mine
But it's taking every bit of sanity and prayer I can whisper to God to get me through
Yes, I've held on to some tears, and if I had sense, I would just let them go
But my sense of control of my emotions are at it's best, when I may need it to be at its worst
In my lack, I've found my focus to be lost and my rest to be disrupted
It seems so hard to regtain it all back
But if I was to tell the truth, I don't want the focus I had back
Now that I am encountering life at a different angle, do you not believe a new focus is needed?
Ok, so yes, I need to prioritize
But like I told myself earlier during my distress
I am realizing that some of the goals I have are not of my own
But only to make "them" happy
Yes, I want it for myself
But I've pushed myself to a limit that has caused me to grow weary
Yes, the bible says not to weary in well doing, Galations 6:9
But the Lord knows my spirit man exist in the flesh of a human
I am tired
I am worned
I am human
Never God
My middle school friends once called me Super Woman
My cousin whom I've only seen once says I have a busy life
I go around from school, work, and church
And the cycle repeats
I try to be Super Woman
My life is busy
And between school, work, and church
My being is beat
So, after I finish flunking this one course and sucessfully completing the other 5 courses
The rush will be over, because I am no longer pressed
Yes, I want to finish, but I must minimize the strain
Therefore, I will slow my pace
There's so much more that's going on in my life
So, no it's not school
It's everything from my job to my relationship with friends and family
It's even conflicting with my spirituality
I don't know what more to say besides the fact I am sitting in Panera
Trying to get around to an assignment that's due by 5pm
Which is the time I have to be at work
But I felt the need to blog
I'm not sure if you will get anything from this
Besides a piece of my mind and the life I live daily
But I hope in your journey of being focused
You find the peace to help balance it...
But it's taking every bit of sanity and prayer I can whisper to God to get me through
Yes, I've held on to some tears, and if I had sense, I would just let them go
But my sense of control of my emotions are at it's best, when I may need it to be at its worst
In my lack, I've found my focus to be lost and my rest to be disrupted
It seems so hard to regtain it all back
But if I was to tell the truth, I don't want the focus I had back
Now that I am encountering life at a different angle, do you not believe a new focus is needed?
Ok, so yes, I need to prioritize
But like I told myself earlier during my distress
I am realizing that some of the goals I have are not of my own
But only to make "them" happy
Yes, I want it for myself
But I've pushed myself to a limit that has caused me to grow weary
Yes, the bible says not to weary in well doing, Galations 6:9
But the Lord knows my spirit man exist in the flesh of a human
I am tired
I am worned
I am human
Never God
My middle school friends once called me Super Woman
My cousin whom I've only seen once says I have a busy life
I go around from school, work, and church
And the cycle repeats
I try to be Super Woman
My life is busy
And between school, work, and church
My being is beat
So, after I finish flunking this one course and sucessfully completing the other 5 courses
The rush will be over, because I am no longer pressed
Yes, I want to finish, but I must minimize the strain
Therefore, I will slow my pace
There's so much more that's going on in my life
So, no it's not school
It's everything from my job to my relationship with friends and family
It's even conflicting with my spirituality
I don't know what more to say besides the fact I am sitting in Panera
Trying to get around to an assignment that's due by 5pm
Which is the time I have to be at work
But I felt the need to blog
I'm not sure if you will get anything from this
Besides a piece of my mind and the life I live daily
But I hope in your journey of being focused
You find the peace to help balance it...
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
In Your Detour You'll Find...
Walking the paths of my thoughts
Finding frustration and aggravation
And in other places,
Finding peace and salvation
What manner of man am I,
That I feel obligated towards destruction
We may never realize it,
But we often go to the places of distress first
Before we ever settle for delight
For example, we rather take the detour
And yes, it may be scenic
Lands of green, skies of blue, hills reaching high
But it's moments before we reach the valley
Then we realize how will I ever rise again
We thought we knew what we were doing
And if we didn't, we consulted that "dear friend"
Dear friend gave us the route to our destruction
They advised us, gave us a plan, and we took it on
How could we drown in our own thoughts
That counsel from a fool betrayed you for wise counsel
You got time... It's not like HE's coming back tomorrow....
You're still young... Have some fun...
(To Be Finished...)
Finding frustration and aggravation
And in other places,
Finding peace and salvation
What manner of man am I,
That I feel obligated towards destruction
We may never realize it,
But we often go to the places of distress first
Before we ever settle for delight
For example, we rather take the detour
And yes, it may be scenic
Lands of green, skies of blue, hills reaching high
But it's moments before we reach the valley
Then we realize how will I ever rise again
We thought we knew what we were doing
And if we didn't, we consulted that "dear friend"
Dear friend gave us the route to our destruction
They advised us, gave us a plan, and we took it on
How could we drown in our own thoughts
That counsel from a fool betrayed you for wise counsel
You got time... It's not like HE's coming back tomorrow....
You're still young... Have some fun...
(To Be Finished...)
Sunday, January 1, 2012
All Mine- 2012
I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.
Ecclesiastes 9:11
We have come to the beginning of a New Year and never have I been so excited about it! Embarking on new adventures and not backing down. Staying motivated and conquering each and every endeavor! I claim this year as MINE! I'm not quite sure what to expect, but whatever God does I know it's perfect and in His will! Before I wanted to be married and graduate college this year, not saying those things won't happen, but those are not my goals for this year. My goal is to please God, and not only that, but to stop sleeping on some of these dreams and ideas that I so often play with and think about.
Before I faced a lot of fear and DOUBT, and not being quite sure how to go about the things that were placed on my heart. The funny part is, I know my resources! But it was the DOUBT I had that really played a part in it! And with doubt I LOST focus. I never realized how much I doubted myself before 2011 (thanks to Obsessed). With my singing, dancing/miming, writing, and my ideas. I became consumed with what everybody else was doing and how they were accomplishing it and while focusing on them I lost myself!
I've learned that my journey in this life is different from everyone elses. Let's be quite frank, most of the people I was watching were going on the SAME journey! Nobody was there own. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but I was expected to travel that road with them. But, unlike some people, I was too busy questioning myself and trying to figure out if that journey was God's will for my life. Better yet, I was trying to figure out if this is what I really wanted, and if not, what did I want.
2012 is here, and I am still not quite sure what I want or what's going to happen, but my spirit is done with competing; and I know there's something better instored for me this year! Literally, I just feel it in this leaping spirit of mine! I don't want your journey. I want to personally sign my journey with the setback, with the challenges I face and so forth! Don't get me wrong, I am not saying these people didn't go through anything, I don't know their story. But I've taken my focus OFF of people. That alone was a setback, people! Watching what they did, why it's not happening for me, caring what they may have thought of me and etc...
Like the title says 2012 IS MINE! I can't hold back anymore! I'm ready to take all! I've allowed distractions to come, and I have allowed myself to loose focus. And to be quite frank, it brought me to a breaking point and heighten my humility. So I know whatever is accomplished from here on out (not to exclude before) in my life is only by the HELP, the GRACE, the MERCY, and FAVOR of GOD!
The verse Ecclesiastes 9:11 is only an expression of how I'm going to achieve what God has planned for me and will allow me to accomplish. Because like I said, I was so caught up with what my peers and others around me were doing, I wanted to be where they are. Yet alone, I was bombarded with what I needed to get done as well. But God knows what He's doing. He watched me try to accomplish what He knew was too much for me. He watched me get caught up with the things I so badly wanted to be a part of and still carried me through.
2012, I don't know what to expect, but GREATER this year! Like I said before, God is not carrying me through HELL if GREATER is not PREPARED for ME!
Sidebar: 2012- The year of Establishment and Government (perfect) <<<<< A friend asked me what was my goal for 2012 and I told him "To get on my 2 feet..." and that when I remembered what the number 12 means! It's funny how God aligns us with HIS word!
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