(I’ve never written a “testimonial/declaration” as such as this one. But this is what 2011 challenged me with! I’ve always been the one people looked up to, and keeping that image this year was tough. I may have kept it up. I don’t know and I don’t care. The fact is I made it another year ALIVE and God by my side! Like you’re about to read, 2011 was tough. I don’t explain it all, and some of it wasn’t even that bad, but its what I dealt with internally. I don’t tell people much of my frustration with life, school, church, and even God. But I decided to let you all peek in just a little. And if you follow me on twitter, I’m sure you’ve observed there! Lol But anyway, I hope my little testimony and declaration sheds some light on your own situation and that you decide to move on to GREATER with me! BUT, don’t forget to bring GOD with you! HE has all the Greatness; therefore, being in relationship with HIM is the only way we will be able to reach it! ….. Now, READ ON!)
2011 you have been the most challenging year I have faced in my life! Can you say "BOOT CAMP 2011!" Not because of money issues, not because of problems on the job, but my relationship with Christ was attacked and not only that but my relationship with MYSELF was attacked too! It was to the point I was so consumed with work, school AND church I didn't even realized God existed and who I was. Praying, Loving, Being Thankful, and Acknowledging HIM daily like I should was occupied with: "what do I have to do today" "if I don't do this, this will happen" "I have to do this, otherwise he/she will be upset with me".
There were times it seemed like I was running around looking like a "chickens head cut off!" I lost balance, I lost sense of who I was, I was afraid of disappointing others, while all at the same time trying to take care of Whitney. When I should've been facing God and asking Him to carry me through and take care of me!
And yes, some of it I blame on myself! I took on some loads that were too heavy for my back until it got to the point I came a bit absent minded and not even caring anymore! I struggled with school, hurting people, losing commitment; which caused the value of who I was to be degraded. There were even people I was hurt by and confused about. And til this day I'm still confused about!
Don't get me wrong! We had a few awesome days! Days I'll never forget and I had victories that put me in awe! BUT, 2012 I plan to conquer A LOT MORE than what I did in 2011! There's GREATER prepared! HOWEVER, I refuse to go out of 2011 feeling defeated! With that said, I'm preparing for a GRAND EXIT, but only to make a GRAND ENTRY into 2012!
2012, you will be my year, I've been claiming you all of 2011 and I've been in anticipation for you! I may not accomplish all I had in mind for 2012, but my mindset will not be defaulted! As me and a friend like to say "I'm getting my life together" I have EXPECTATIONS and GREATER is my mindset! I’m not one to make resolutions, or one to say I’m going to change and do all this boastful talking about the New Year, but I will BE BETTER and I will DO BETTER!
This year I won’t wait for advice from family and friends and prophetic words from the preacher. I’ll chase God down with my prayers, and use the common sense He gave me too! I know there’s a “new journey” in life waiting for me. And I embarked on it this year, I took risk and challenges, I had some failures and setbacks. There were some detours and I got lost! But in 2012 we will proceed to move forward.
2012 I will not compromise who I am, I can’t allow that to happen! Because someone is waiting for me to screw up good, someone is waiting to take my place, and I REFUSE TO LET GO: of my purpose, of my destiny, and of my dreams. A stronger passion has been created, a stronger initiative is on the move, and I won’t wait any longer to apply my dream into my reality!
