I hum...... #RandomPost

Sometimes I hum myself a lullaby
It leads me to my sleep
It soothes
It comforts
It allows me to escape

Sometimes I think my hums are me unknowingly praying to God
It happens so suddenly
That moments have passed that I realized I have come to this place

I don't always know what they mean
How they started
How they ended
Or the musical notes that are being chimed

This I do know
My hums lead me to a peaceful place

I don't know why I am posting about my hums, a little habit I have developed with age. I was raised with a grandfather that hums a lot, so maybe that's the root of it. I just think it so strange, because I can hum for several minutes and not realize it. As a baby I sucked my tongue, and I still do at the age of 25. It's a comforting place for me, but now humming has been added to that list of little habits.

Edits- A Load Of Life

I have changed the name of the blog... Added to the description....

It is not because I am not in pursuit of my bachelors, business, Boaz (future husband) and baby

I have just arrived to a place where I just want to be HAPPY

Where I am not falling into the plans of man

Because my friends are all happily coupled off, doesn't meant I need to be too

Because all my friend have achieved scholastically doesn't mean they are in the best position of their lives

I just long for a simple life, with the few grand pleasures and desires that I have set in my heart

But lets move on,

My frustration is breaching

And I recently found a new stress point that is aching

It scares me how frustration and stress effects me

I mean, is this apart of being 25? Is this a part of becoming an adult?

I'll be honest, I rather be taken care of at this point in my life

Spoiled? Maybe...

Don't get me wrong

I don't mind working hard

But there are certain things in my life I wish I didn't have to worry about
 
Or had the resources to handle the situation

Or just had someone to help me

To some of you all my burden may seem like nothing

But for me it is a load of life I am learning to carry and maneuver through

I guess it is my welcome into adulthood

Where I realize that dreams are no longer be played with

 That they budge you until you listen

Where I realize love is no longer a game, but a place of happiness

Where I realize those closest to me are in dire need of me

It is a load of life

Where I realize I am now more accountable to what I hear and say

Confessions of "A Girl Next Door"

Confessions of a
Girl Next Door
Mama has never told me
But I've heard the saying
I've heard the song
"Don't go around breaking young boys heart!"
Never really knew how effortless that is....

Anyway, I've seen it happen with MYSELF twice recently. It's not my intent. It's just before you know it they're pouring out emotions. And it happens so innocently. I use to feel that I was the right person for every guy I have met. That's not pride. That's just how they made me feel! And I HATE that emotion! So I do everything to pull away. I wish mama taught me to be more careful. It's a lesson I have had to learn myself!

Spur of the Moment Freelance Thoughts #201

Sometimes we wish to share the same boldness and the ability to dare on those things that seem so far fetched. We even sometimes sit and second guess ourselves allowing doubt and fear to get the best of us, holding us back from those many dreams we hope and pray to accomplish one day. We worry that we won't succeed and that it seems impossible to accomplish something that is so possible for a God to grant! You question yourself and ask, am I dreaming to much, am I dreaming to big! When in all actuality we're not dreaming big enough! A God who breathes out fire and stars is more than capable to fulfill the promise HE made to you! We forget, those things HE has set in our hearts, they are dreams and promises HE has given to us! Those are things HE has allowed to enter our hearts, to envision, to imagine, to create, and to release and reveal to the world around us. It is favor and truly a blessing when God tells you the desires of your heart are mine too! Whatever you dream and whatever you desire, I will make possible for you! But here you go again, seeing someone who has accomplished in your arena and you face fear, BUT you have to remember, you still do not carry the same vision, power, resources, and the anointing! What God has designed for you to do you must carry it out. What they can't accomplish, you will be able to accomplish. Yes, they may be successful, but are they humble? Yes, they have the fame, but are they saving souls? Do not doubt, and do not regret the steps you may have missed to reached your destiny! Your chaos, your consequences, your frustration, your setbacks, and every bit of misfortune that was thrown your way has only equipped you and making you who you are! So stop wishing you were in their shoes! Stop wishing you had their testimony! Stop wishing you had their vision! Use what God has given you! He gave you a powerful weapon, don't misuse it! Don't sit down the gifts, the dreams, and the visions God has placed in your hands to use to destroy the kingdom! Stay in your lane and be the influence!

2012 Best Wishes & Farewells 2013 Blessings & Greetings

It is that time of year where we are all setting order
In our homes
On our jobs
In our business affairs
In our relationship
In our dreams, visions, and goals
And with our relationship with God
We are settling our spirits from all the excitement of the Holiday
Planning to drop calories
Planning to lower our cholestorol
And to shed the added weight from all the festivities
We're meeting last minute goals
Beating deadlines
Beating all the prices from Holiday sales
We're house cleaning
And running up bills & throwing away bills we have fought to pay all year
We're getting our bottles in order from Virgin Olive Oil to Ciroc
We're getting our outfits laid out from Church Suits to Pleasurable Lingerie
We're getting ready for a new approach into a year we have never seen
Into a world that was saved thousand of years ago by the True Messiah
Some are in distress and ready for the new blessings, challenges, and even consequences the new year may bring
We're looking to say farewell and best wishes to a year that allowed you to set order in your life, and for others even chaos
We're reaching our hands out in dire need for 2013, a year many of us have embraced before it has fully taken its term into time
2013, we have greeted and blessed you, and have accepted you with joy, expectation, and even with a since of mystery
What do you hold
What stories will you tell
What relationships will be made
And what relationships will be left
God, where will you lead your people

For some 2012 was not as promising and fulfilling
But it was better than the former years of life you have faced
It was GREATER
With 2013 approaching it can only get better
There's a hint of surprise and suspense
Even a sense of transition that will take place in many of our lives
And in the mist of that transition
We must know Gods hand is at work
In 2012 HE equipped you, established you, revealed to you and gave you order
In 2013 lets expect a fuller picture of what God desires to do in our lives
What may have seem bad in your life in 2012 is only equipping for what God has set in order for your life
2013 will bless you and greet you will
This is not a promise that you are now dismissed from struggles
But you will be more equipped than you were the year before
So as you prepare to enter the new year by going to the church or the club
Take the time to reflect on 2012, give it its wishes and farewells and pray blessings and victories as you greet 2013

Strengthening & Renewing Your Passion & Zeal

At times, I may be a bit tender
Especially when I am trying to go after something I'm really passionate about
You would think the opposite
But I get scared, fear of being judged, fear of not receiving approval, fear that others may steal what I'm going after, fear that I am doing it wrong, and the list goes on and on and on
You would think your passion would drive you to be a lot bolder than what you usually are
But that is not always the case
Sometimes your passion can drive you to be afraid, and to be timid, it can even make you weak
WHY???
Because it's something you are passionate about and something you want people to receive and understand
However, that is not the case
Your desire, your fire, your passion will not always be understood
And it is not going to always be accepted
That is the thing that scares me
I love what I do, but the question is, will others love it?
The answer to that is NO
They may not agree
They may not understand
They may want you and your zeal to go across country
BUT you have to stay true to that zeal you hold
Don't let the fear and anxiety of others weigh what you feel passionate about down
Don't let others take advantage OR become a disadvantage to what you're trying to do with those desires you have for you're passionate about
If people say no, pick up your passion and your zeal and move forward
Don't let the no's hold you back
That rejection will try to weaken you and cause you to give in, but you can't allow it
Even when you feel like saying no, because there will be times you question what you feel so strongly about, take a brief break, talk to God, rest that night, and come back at it again, feeling refreshed!
There have been several times I have had to do this, but don't defeat yourself
Stand up, Be bold
And remember, there is help
Something I am slowly learning and accepting
Truth be told, it is hard to express, share, and trust others with what you feel so strongly and passionate about
But God sends help
Just move forward in the process, use that faith HE has given you and keep it moving

REMINDER: All Mine- 2012

 I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.

Ecclesiastes 9:11

 

So, maybe this year is not exactly what I expected.

But it is truly setting the foundation for some things that are to take place.

I don't know Gods timing and where HE is going to take me within the next few months left in this year.

But in the meantime, I will remind myself of the verse I have bookmarked for myself.