Now, I advise you to hold on to your seats, because this church girl is about to make a terrible confession.......................................................................................................................................
MY FAITH IS NOT THE SIZE OF A MUSTARD SEED
:(
One thing I struggle with as a believer is my FAITH, yep, that's right! I know God is real I've seen Him work miracles! HECK, I should have been dead about 4 years ago but HE spared my life. But sometimes, probably like any other "normal" saint, I struggle with Faith. I ask God if He's real? I ask God if He's really going to do it. And there have even been times I told myself I'm not going to believe anymore, but I end up talking to Him driving up and down 460. So I have not been successful, PRAISE GOD!
So, right now my prayer is INCREASE MY FAITH! I see it work in everyone elses lives, but sometimes it just seems it comes short when I compare it to my life. There have been times I speak about "Leaping Faith" and I see it come to pass, but my faith has not always been consistent. I get like Thomas sometimes, and I begin to doubt! Sad right? But to me, it shows that I am human, and that my relationship with God is still growing and that I am maturing in Him.
Don't get it mixed up, I know Jesus is real! It's just the Faith for Him to do the Impossible seem to waver at times. But again I'm praying for God to increase my faith and to make it strong!
In conclusion, we all struggle with something when it comes to our relationship with Christ, whether it be faith, love, joy, etc... I just think it's funny that mine is faith, because I've been told I'm a freelancer AND I want to be a business owner, that sounds like a lot of risk taking, which requires, not just talent, but faith!
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
School & Work
A lot has happened! And this pass Spring Semester I took off of school to re-evaluate some of the places I wanted to be in my life. A lot of people don't know I withdrew, only my immediate family. So please don't smack me if you're reading this post. And along with that I felt it was necessary and time I leave my job at the YMCA. Again, please do not smack me! No, I didn't have a job lined up for me, and as soon as that happened, I found out I owed the school money before I could register for summer classes. But with all my brainstorming, I have worked things out. But in the mist of working things out I realize something I don't EVER do, unless it's my dad, and that's ask for help! Terrible right? I know of family members and even friends that woulod be more than glad to assist, but my independant nature got the best of me! I guess that's one reason why granny never says she doesn't worry soo much about me because she know I can handle it.
But in this path I'm taking I'm quite excited; however, I will say it working my patience and my faith (but that's another post, so be on the look out.)
Anyway, back to the whole school situation! I withdrew from school and I am happy I did it because now I feel more excited, refreshed, and motivated about going back for the summer! I only have 9 classes left, so I'm quite sure this will be a breeze. It's funny though because I am sure people are a bit shocked at some of the decisions I make, but at the end of the day I am living for myself and God! My happiness doesn't come from what other people want from me, but what God desires to get the glory out of, that's where my JOY comes from!
Now about the job, that's another story, but I won't talk about that publicly, nothing bad at all, just felt that it was time to move and to seek after something better and GREATER.
Finally, I will say this, people won't understand every move you make, and you shouldn't have to always explain, especially when it comes to ministry and your relationship with Christ. If God says move, with or without a job, your duty is to move. And don't doubt it, because if God says move, that means HE has provisions already to provide your every NEED until HE moves you out again and better equipped!
But in this path I'm taking I'm quite excited; however, I will say it working my patience and my faith (but that's another post, so be on the look out.)
Anyway, back to the whole school situation! I withdrew from school and I am happy I did it because now I feel more excited, refreshed, and motivated about going back for the summer! I only have 9 classes left, so I'm quite sure this will be a breeze. It's funny though because I am sure people are a bit shocked at some of the decisions I make, but at the end of the day I am living for myself and God! My happiness doesn't come from what other people want from me, but what God desires to get the glory out of, that's where my JOY comes from!
Now about the job, that's another story, but I won't talk about that publicly, nothing bad at all, just felt that it was time to move and to seek after something better and GREATER.
Finally, I will say this, people won't understand every move you make, and you shouldn't have to always explain, especially when it comes to ministry and your relationship with Christ. If God says move, with or without a job, your duty is to move. And don't doubt it, because if God says move, that means HE has provisions already to provide your every NEED until HE moves you out again and better equipped!
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
When You're Misunderstood
When you're misunderstood
It's hard for people to respect you
At first they may laugh
But when they realize it
Everything you do and say makes sense
When you're misunderstood
No one has ideas like you do
Or can carry them out like you can
When you're misunderstood
You're quickly to be underestimated
And even you have doubts about yourself
When you're misunderstood
Only faith can guide you
When you're misunderstood
There several times you'll just keep your mouth shut
And time where you'll cry alone
When you're misunderstood
Your number of friends are few
And the ones you do have
Seem to come and go
When you're misunderstood
Prepare to be rejected
When you're misunderstood
Sometimes the only person it seems you could work for is yourself
When you're misunderstood
You carry and you see more
More than what others may think
When you're misunderstood
The only person to encourage you is yourself
So don't give up
When you're misunderstood
God sends those faithful few
That will carry you through
When you're misunderstood
Know that God has a plan
That bigger than mans imagination
That they're unable to grasp His wonder and His work
When you're misunderstood
It's not that you're any less or better
But God has plan to do with you, that others can't do...
It's hard for people to respect you
At first they may laugh
But when they realize it
Everything you do and say makes sense
When you're misunderstood
No one has ideas like you do
Or can carry them out like you can
When you're misunderstood
You're quickly to be underestimated
And even you have doubts about yourself
When you're misunderstood
Only faith can guide you
When you're misunderstood
There several times you'll just keep your mouth shut
And time where you'll cry alone
When you're misunderstood
Your number of friends are few
And the ones you do have
Seem to come and go
When you're misunderstood
Prepare to be rejected
When you're misunderstood
Sometimes the only person it seems you could work for is yourself
When you're misunderstood
You carry and you see more
More than what others may think
When you're misunderstood
The only person to encourage you is yourself
So don't give up
When you're misunderstood
God sends those faithful few
That will carry you through
When you're misunderstood
Know that God has a plan
That bigger than mans imagination
That they're unable to grasp His wonder and His work
When you're misunderstood
It's not that you're any less or better
But God has plan to do with you, that others can't do...
Monday, March 26, 2012
A Covenant Designed For Worship
March 24, 2012, before a host of family and friends, a union was formed
Gen. 2:18, 21-24
Gen. 2:18, 21-24
- The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him'...and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man.' For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
- They not only made a declaration of their love
But they committed to a marriage-lifestyle of worship before God
That God is the center of their unification
And HE is the center of their Love Song
And because of their love for Christ
And because they worship HIM sincerely With clean hands and a pure heart
GOD made their union:
One of purity One of worship One of covenant
Their thought wasn't on the center of it being "Their Day"
But a day where God will be magnified and glorified through "Their Covenant" with God and to their Better Half
The wedding of Nikeya Massenburg to Jarel Brown is one I will never forget. It was purely about God receiving the worship. How can you ask God to come in like they did and HE not showed up. What amazed me was the song selections. Strictly worship, reverencing God to the fullest. And because of the reverence they showed God, their marriage GLOWED.
"The One Night Stand" RA Vernon
March 23, 2012 I attend the The Once Night Stand in Woodbridge hosted by Lyle and Debra Dukes, speaker, RA Vernon. I must say it was an amazing event. Several singles in one house, learning about their singleness.
Never before in my life have I ever sat under a preacher for an hour who spoke so much about REAL LIFE and THE WORD. He spoke some on his book "10 Rules Before Dating" which I plan to purchase. Then he went into his message about how being single is a gift. He referenced to Paul, who was a single man and who wrote letters to the churches, which we can find in the New Testament of the Bible.
There were 3 types of singles he spoke on:
With single and sinning he touched on how Satan has the single folks wet and the married folks dry. It was quite hilarious when he said this, but it is true. He continued on to say that single folks are having more sex than married folks, which seems to be VERY true. Don't you agree?
The part I really want to get to in this post is where Vernon touched on the subject of "Soul Ties." He broke it down in a way I never heard. We grow up knowing and learning that you're suppose to wait until you're married t have sex, so it can represent purity and you want to give yourself to the person you're going to spend you whole life. But never have I really understood as "sex is for marriage and marriage is for sex." In other words, when you have sex with someone out of wedlock you are married to them, which then created a soul tie. Vernon went on to say that's why some people have problems in current relationships or marriages because of those they have divorced in the pass. Every time you lay with someone you are not married to they drop something from within their spirit to yours; therefore tying you two together. SO whatever he/she may be going through, you may be faced with those situations now.
Overall, it was a great service and that's what I got out of it! I hope you all were fed a little nugget from this post and if you want the whole meal I suggest checking R.A. Vernon out at Saint Paul's on April 27th, Richmond VA.
Never before in my life have I ever sat under a preacher for an hour who spoke so much about REAL LIFE and THE WORD. He spoke some on his book "10 Rules Before Dating" which I plan to purchase. Then he went into his message about how being single is a gift. He referenced to Paul, who was a single man and who wrote letters to the churches, which we can find in the New Testament of the Bible.
There were 3 types of singles he spoke on:
- Single and Sinning
- Single and Satisfied
- Single and Seeking
With single and sinning he touched on how Satan has the single folks wet and the married folks dry. It was quite hilarious when he said this, but it is true. He continued on to say that single folks are having more sex than married folks, which seems to be VERY true. Don't you agree?
The part I really want to get to in this post is where Vernon touched on the subject of "Soul Ties." He broke it down in a way I never heard. We grow up knowing and learning that you're suppose to wait until you're married t have sex, so it can represent purity and you want to give yourself to the person you're going to spend you whole life. But never have I really understood as "sex is for marriage and marriage is for sex." In other words, when you have sex with someone out of wedlock you are married to them, which then created a soul tie. Vernon went on to say that's why some people have problems in current relationships or marriages because of those they have divorced in the pass. Every time you lay with someone you are not married to they drop something from within their spirit to yours; therefore tying you two together. SO whatever he/she may be going through, you may be faced with those situations now.
Overall, it was a great service and that's what I got out of it! I hope you all were fed a little nugget from this post and if you want the whole meal I suggest checking R.A. Vernon out at Saint Paul's on April 27th, Richmond VA.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Quick-Stop OR Pit-Stop
So on this journey I took what I thought would be a quick-stop, but it ended up turning into a pit-stop! Yep, I dug this nice hole of laziness at the nearest Sleep Inn. To some it may not have seem like it, but mentally and internally I was dealing with a lot. It was nothing too major, but enough for me to make me want to sit down and rest my feet and not care if I get any further on this journey.
PRAISE GOD! That mindset has changed. I haven't met all the deadlines I have planned for myself, but HE knows what HE is doing!
This weekend I heard an awesome word from some dynamite women of God! In summary the thought was this: "What may LOOK like a SET BACK is only a SET UP! You are not making a combat, because from the time God breathed life into you you were FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE, BLESSED, PROSPEROUS and whatever else God has placed in your Spiritual DNA! It NEVER left you!"
Those words meant a lot to me and carried a revelation I never carefully thought of, because at a point in my life I felt like I was living in a set back, but who knew it was just a set up! It was like Gods way of slowing me down so I wouldn't move to fast, testing me , and yes my flesh had something to do with it too, BUT now there's a launching pad in front of me!
So I have left the pit-stop and the only stop that needs to be made is a quick-stop! God doesn't take breaks, and yes, I know I am not God; however, ministry must go forth, my dreams must become reality, and in order for these things to happen I have to move with the season and IN MY YOUTH! So that in my later years of wisdom I will not regret those days that are behind!
PRAISE GOD! That mindset has changed. I haven't met all the deadlines I have planned for myself, but HE knows what HE is doing!
This weekend I heard an awesome word from some dynamite women of God! In summary the thought was this: "What may LOOK like a SET BACK is only a SET UP! You are not making a combat, because from the time God breathed life into you you were FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE, BLESSED, PROSPEROUS and whatever else God has placed in your Spiritual DNA! It NEVER left you!"
Those words meant a lot to me and carried a revelation I never carefully thought of, because at a point in my life I felt like I was living in a set back, but who knew it was just a set up! It was like Gods way of slowing me down so I wouldn't move to fast, testing me , and yes my flesh had something to do with it too, BUT now there's a launching pad in front of me!
So I have left the pit-stop and the only stop that needs to be made is a quick-stop! God doesn't take breaks, and yes, I know I am not God; however, ministry must go forth, my dreams must become reality, and in order for these things to happen I have to move with the season and IN MY YOUTH! So that in my later years of wisdom I will not regret those days that are behind!
Saturday, March 17, 2012
When You've Lost Focus - A Writer In Distress
We all coming to a breaking point, and lately, I think I've been reaching near to mine
But it's taking every bit of sanity and prayer I can whisper to God to get me through
Yes, I've held on to some tears, and if I had sense, I would just let them go
But my sense of control of my emotions are at it's best, when I may need it to be at its worst
In my lack, I've found my focus to be lost and my rest to be disrupted
It seems so hard to regtain it all back
But if I was to tell the truth, I don't want the focus I had back
Now that I am encountering life at a different angle, do you not believe a new focus is needed?
Ok, so yes, I need to prioritize
But like I told myself earlier during my distress
I am realizing that some of the goals I have are not of my own
But only to make "them" happy
Yes, I want it for myself
But I've pushed myself to a limit that has caused me to grow weary
Yes, the bible says not to weary in well doing, Galations 6:9
But the Lord knows my spirit man exist in the flesh of a human
I am tired
I am worned
I am human
Never God
My middle school friends once called me Super Woman
My cousin whom I've only seen once says I have a busy life
I go around from school, work, and church
And the cycle repeats
I try to be Super Woman
My life is busy
And between school, work, and church
My being is beat
So, after I finish flunking this one course and sucessfully completing the other 5 courses
The rush will be over, because I am no longer pressed
Yes, I want to finish, but I must minimize the strain
Therefore, I will slow my pace
There's so much more that's going on in my life
So, no it's not school
It's everything from my job to my relationship with friends and family
It's even conflicting with my spirituality
I don't know what more to say besides the fact I am sitting in Panera
Trying to get around to an assignment that's due by 5pm
Which is the time I have to be at work
But I felt the need to blog
I'm not sure if you will get anything from this
Besides a piece of my mind and the life I live daily
But I hope in your journey of being focused
You find the peace to help balance it...
But it's taking every bit of sanity and prayer I can whisper to God to get me through
Yes, I've held on to some tears, and if I had sense, I would just let them go
But my sense of control of my emotions are at it's best, when I may need it to be at its worst
In my lack, I've found my focus to be lost and my rest to be disrupted
It seems so hard to regtain it all back
But if I was to tell the truth, I don't want the focus I had back
Now that I am encountering life at a different angle, do you not believe a new focus is needed?
Ok, so yes, I need to prioritize
But like I told myself earlier during my distress
I am realizing that some of the goals I have are not of my own
But only to make "them" happy
Yes, I want it for myself
But I've pushed myself to a limit that has caused me to grow weary
Yes, the bible says not to weary in well doing, Galations 6:9
But the Lord knows my spirit man exist in the flesh of a human
I am tired
I am worned
I am human
Never God
My middle school friends once called me Super Woman
My cousin whom I've only seen once says I have a busy life
I go around from school, work, and church
And the cycle repeats
I try to be Super Woman
My life is busy
And between school, work, and church
My being is beat
So, after I finish flunking this one course and sucessfully completing the other 5 courses
The rush will be over, because I am no longer pressed
Yes, I want to finish, but I must minimize the strain
Therefore, I will slow my pace
There's so much more that's going on in my life
So, no it's not school
It's everything from my job to my relationship with friends and family
It's even conflicting with my spirituality
I don't know what more to say besides the fact I am sitting in Panera
Trying to get around to an assignment that's due by 5pm
Which is the time I have to be at work
But I felt the need to blog
I'm not sure if you will get anything from this
Besides a piece of my mind and the life I live daily
But I hope in your journey of being focused
You find the peace to help balance it...
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