Thursday, October 27, 2011
A Writer In Distress
Moments ago I just tried to post a blog, but it didn't publish. But I was talking about having focus and how mine has been stirred into the deep it seems. School seems to be in the way. Church is taking over my life. And work seems to be the least of my problems. Relationships are awkward and God isn't far, but it seems I've pushed Him away. My body is a wreck, and my brain is holding on to every bit of sanity it has. Some days are good, but I just rather be somewhere in a bathing suit, laying out on the beach, with my natural curls freely expressing who I am. This structure of life is ruining me. My spirit is ready to run rampant. Yes, I want to lose self control and just make drastic moves without caring what happens to my relationships, my education, and what people at church and at home may think. This I do know, I've taken more control that I was able to handle. Such as these 6 classes I am taking. BUT if I must be spiritual, I must live out Galations 6:9, not getting weary in well doing!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Has It (the journey) Ceased?
My journey is still in the preparation process.
So has my journey ceased?
No, but it is just beginning.
The foundation is being layed,
And my faith is being build.
Houses are being stored up,
Preparing to make way.
The harvest must be nourished,
Before setting out on such a journey.
And where there is lack,
The journey will not cease.
There's always a ram in the bush,
Keeping the harvest and the promises of God fruitful.
So has my journey ceased?
No, but it is just beginning.
The foundation is being layed,
And my faith is being build.
Houses are being stored up,
Preparing to make way.
The harvest must be nourished,
Before setting out on such a journey.
And where there is lack,
The journey will not cease.
There's always a ram in the bush,
Keeping the harvest and the promises of God fruitful.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Don't Miss HIM
You ever hear God so cleary, but you're so caught up in pursuing your will, your dreams, your familys success, that you surpass the blessing that God has specifically set aside for you. HE has that ONE blessing that'll help everything you need to fall in place. But we get so busy chasing our dreams, chasing our friends, chasing jobs, we miss out on what HE just wanted to simple hand to us. Let's not miss God by our disobedience and the attention we give others and our dreams. HE gave you the dreams, HE'LL make the way for it come pass.
At first, I stopped at the 1st paragraph, but a question came to me, so I had to add it to this post.
BUT, do we miss God due to the lack of FAITH? Do we miss God because we failed to MOVE ON from what HE's trying to release us from? Do we miss God due to the lack of FORGIVENESS? How have you missed God in your life? What situation did you get caught up in that you missed God? Lust. Pride. Greed. Disobedience. It's a scary thing to miss God. Because the blessing you walked pass will now make it even more of a struggle to get where you need to be. OR do you even want to go? Because sometimes we don't want to go. We're to busy telling God OUR plan. We tell HIM no to HIS will, and we continue to struggle, because we don't want to submit. Sometimes, all it takes is submission. We must surrender. We must sacrifice. We must SUBMIT.
At first, I stopped at the 1st paragraph, but a question came to me, so I had to add it to this post.
BUT, do we miss God due to the lack of FAITH? Do we miss God because we failed to MOVE ON from what HE's trying to release us from? Do we miss God due to the lack of FORGIVENESS? How have you missed God in your life? What situation did you get caught up in that you missed God? Lust. Pride. Greed. Disobedience. It's a scary thing to miss God. Because the blessing you walked pass will now make it even more of a struggle to get where you need to be. OR do you even want to go? Because sometimes we don't want to go. We're to busy telling God OUR plan. We tell HIM no to HIS will, and we continue to struggle, because we don't want to submit. Sometimes, all it takes is submission. We must surrender. We must sacrifice. We must SUBMIT.
"When your life is tossed and scorned..."
I really don't know where I'm going with this blog, but I felt led to begin a new one. Life around me has been quite interesting. Between my flesh and the spirit of God that lives within me, I've been battling. Many times, we want to place the blame on satan, but most times we fall short due to our own doings. Sometimes, we want to place the blame on people as well, and most times we go as far as in blaming it on our past.
Currently, I'm faced with challenges and decisions, and at the same time battling with my flesh and the word of God. Recently, I shared with a closed friend/mentor that I just wish I had the time to do me. I was to the point I wanted to tell God, "Let me do what I do for atleast a good 2 months without you taking me away from this earth and YOU continue covering/protect me." It was not only my flesh stepping into it's (maybe) prideful ways, but as a human, I became tired. Was I becoming imbalanced? Maybe. I was just restless, between work, school, and church, those 3 things stays on repeat. YES, I enjoy what I do. However, I was seriously longing for some time where I could just step away.
Recently, I was told in church I was going through a difficult season. I could've smacked that lady because the Lord was definantly using her to speak to me. All I could do was cry because she was right. God is still carrying me through this season and it's not easy. I have some choices that need to be made and I have a few hurdles I need to cross. Bootcamp, is definantly my current position right now. So, I'm sure there are a lot more battles for me to win within this season that I have to go through. It's the only way HE can pull out what's within me and I can become that WOW-MAN HE wants me to be.
I know a lot of people still view me as that young precious girl, special, a sweetheart, God bless those people for how they view me. I'm not saying I'm not none of those things, neither am I saying I'm a good for nothing female running the streets. But the life I've lived and will continue to live is not easy. The song speaks several truths, "You don't know my story, nor the things that I've been through. You can't feel my pain, what I had to go through to get here. You'll never understand my praise, don't try to figure it out. Because my worship, my worship is for real." (Bishop Larry Trotter) I'm quite the secretive person, and sometimes can be quite the introvert, but there are a quite a few things about my life I keep to myself, but, as a church mother may say "I GO ON IN JESUS NAME" It's the only way I know how to live, I've tried doubting HIM, but HE always proves to me that HE is a LIVING GOD.
WOW.
It's crazy when GOD speaks to you through confirmation, through songs, through you just being still, listening and being obedient. Sometimes, I just go off into a fit because I know I've heard HIM, thank you HOLY SPIRIT. That's something, as a believer of the RISEN SAVIOR, we all should not live without. It's like the 6th sense or something, because when you receive HIM, it inclines you and causes you to be in tuned with what God is saying. I don't know how I got to this point, but it's filling me right now.
Where was I? (lol)
All I know is, this season did not come without purpose. It building my character and revealing to me some issues I must come to deal with on my own, but with God's grace and mercy. This for sure I know, there's a journey in my life taking place, full of adventure. Again, HE's revealed that to me, and I believe I'm in the beginning stages of it. But physically, I believe there a some places I must go to. I don't know how, I don't know when, and I don't know for what particular reason. But I know, this place I have settled in my heart for me to have is not home to where God wants to place me. (WOW) Who can imagine what HE has instored, b/c HE always has a bigger and better plan.
All I ask for right now is for HIS protection, understanding, and strength to do what I need to do. Because it's not easy. There are a few places in my life that needs to be let go of, that should have been gone a few years ago and places in my life where I am battling and a place in God's heart that I'm pursuing. I just know, whatever I do for the Lord, I want to walk low (humility), I want to be sincere, committed, honest, driven, passionate, and FULL OF HIS WORD!
Currently, I'm faced with challenges and decisions, and at the same time battling with my flesh and the word of God. Recently, I shared with a closed friend/mentor that I just wish I had the time to do me. I was to the point I wanted to tell God, "Let me do what I do for atleast a good 2 months without you taking me away from this earth and YOU continue covering/protect me." It was not only my flesh stepping into it's (maybe) prideful ways, but as a human, I became tired. Was I becoming imbalanced? Maybe. I was just restless, between work, school, and church, those 3 things stays on repeat. YES, I enjoy what I do. However, I was seriously longing for some time where I could just step away.
Recently, I was told in church I was going through a difficult season. I could've smacked that lady because the Lord was definantly using her to speak to me. All I could do was cry because she was right. God is still carrying me through this season and it's not easy. I have some choices that need to be made and I have a few hurdles I need to cross. Bootcamp, is definantly my current position right now. So, I'm sure there are a lot more battles for me to win within this season that I have to go through. It's the only way HE can pull out what's within me and I can become that WOW-MAN HE wants me to be.
I know a lot of people still view me as that young precious girl, special, a sweetheart, God bless those people for how they view me. I'm not saying I'm not none of those things, neither am I saying I'm a good for nothing female running the streets. But the life I've lived and will continue to live is not easy. The song speaks several truths, "You don't know my story, nor the things that I've been through. You can't feel my pain, what I had to go through to get here. You'll never understand my praise, don't try to figure it out. Because my worship, my worship is for real." (Bishop Larry Trotter) I'm quite the secretive person, and sometimes can be quite the introvert, but there are a quite a few things about my life I keep to myself, but, as a church mother may say "I GO ON IN JESUS NAME" It's the only way I know how to live, I've tried doubting HIM, but HE always proves to me that HE is a LIVING GOD.
WOW.
It's crazy when GOD speaks to you through confirmation, through songs, through you just being still, listening and being obedient. Sometimes, I just go off into a fit because I know I've heard HIM, thank you HOLY SPIRIT. That's something, as a believer of the RISEN SAVIOR, we all should not live without. It's like the 6th sense or something, because when you receive HIM, it inclines you and causes you to be in tuned with what God is saying. I don't know how I got to this point, but it's filling me right now.
Where was I? (lol)
All I know is, this season did not come without purpose. It building my character and revealing to me some issues I must come to deal with on my own, but with God's grace and mercy. This for sure I know, there's a journey in my life taking place, full of adventure. Again, HE's revealed that to me, and I believe I'm in the beginning stages of it. But physically, I believe there a some places I must go to. I don't know how, I don't know when, and I don't know for what particular reason. But I know, this place I have settled in my heart for me to have is not home to where God wants to place me. (WOW) Who can imagine what HE has instored, b/c HE always has a bigger and better plan.
All I ask for right now is for HIS protection, understanding, and strength to do what I need to do. Because it's not easy. There are a few places in my life that needs to be let go of, that should have been gone a few years ago and places in my life where I am battling and a place in God's heart that I'm pursuing. I just know, whatever I do for the Lord, I want to walk low (humility), I want to be sincere, committed, honest, driven, passionate, and FULL OF HIS WORD!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)